I realise that our recent blogs have been pretty long *yawn* so we (I) am going to keep this one short. This could also be due to one of the reasons below:

a) for once we managed to keep out of trouble
b) we feel it inappropriate to inform the world (aka the two people who actually read our blog) about our actual island antics…

Phuket – Phi Phi – Koh Samui – Koh Phangan

We did a bit of island hopping where we saw some pretty beaches, threw pizza over ourselves, I lost my shoes and Lyvette lost her phone and she nearly had a fit because she thought she’d found a bed bug and so didn’t sleep for the next week but instead sat up all night with my head torch bed bug hunting. We then realised we (Lyvette) had booked our Full Moon Party accommodation for the wrong month, cue a break from bed bug hunting to make time for a mild panic attack and some serious hostel searching. A week and numerous boat journeys later, we arrived shoeless in Koh Phangan for the famous Full Moon party. We were excited about this as we were meeting back up with Gemma who we’d missed throughout Vietnam and our Canadian travel buddies from Laos, Cereza and Kristen. We were back together and spent three nights going out, getting luminous and laughing so much my dimples stretched.

Now I would hate for you to think that all we do whilst travelling is go out and get s**t faced because that simply is not true. In fact, we really don’t drink as much as most other travellers and as much as it appears from the photos (I mean I’m an athlete guys). However, the highlight of our visit to the islands has got to be the Full Moon party. Very touristy, lots of buckets of potent alcohol and lots of people, but that and the build up to it was a lot of fun.

Now I wouldn’t want to bore you with exact details so I thought I’d comprise a short list of the things we learnt:

• Lyvette gets sweaty, like really sweaty. We already knew this, but this night was something else. She used that much tissue to dab her sweat that the bar ran out of serviettes. “I can’t cope, I’m not even enjoying this, I’m just so sweaty. AND IT’S CHAFFING” she announced for the 38^th time that hour unaware of the soggy tissue paper stuck to her eyelids.
• The only way to combat a situation where you are sweating from your eyelids is to climb into the freezer at the nearest 7-11.

• Never trust someone who is driving your scooter and shouting ‘look, no hands’.
• It’s ok to gag when you first try one of the buckets full of spirits they sell on the beach. They’re potent. But after your 6^th one they stop tasting like dogs rear end and taste kind of nice.
• It is possible to pack the back of a truck with people and then add an extra 13 bodies in there as well. This may result in someone kneeling on your pubic region and yes this does hurt.
• An Anteourus is not a real thing. It does not exist and apparently it never has. If what you’re actually describing is an animal from the movie Ice Age, that is now extinct then you would be referring to a sabre toothed tiger.
• You think you know how to party? Unless you’ve done a Full Moon, you don’t. And if you don’t wake up the entire contents on Haad Rin beach in your bed you haven’t done it right.

• If you go on the slide from the bar to the beach you will spend the next week removing sand from up your bum. And even if you don’t go on the slide from the bar to the beach you will more than likely still have sand up your bum.
• Never drink shots that taste like petrol. Mainly because, well, they taste like petrol.
• Don’t get involved in an air con war. It really doesn’t help your body temperature. Someone turning it off. Lyvette sweating. Someone turning it back on etc etc – it’s a vicious cycle and one that you with your hangover and sandy bed do not need.
• If possible try and avoid having the really squeaky top bunk. Because every time you turn over it sounds like you’re doing something naughty. When you’re actually just picking the sand from your bum.

• I can, if necessary hold hands. Like, I didn’t enjoy this but I held a lot of hands at the Full Moon. Lyvette instigated this ridiculous action so as to not all loose each other on the beach. Eight of us hand holding with me in the middle trying not to throw up my bucket due to this torturous act.
• If you are lucky enough to meet three guys from Leeds you will find that one likes to wear pink, one has soggy scabs and the other loses everything (I mean everything – he almost lost his hand at one point).
• If you make it through to sunrise you’re a survivor and deserve a high five. Well done. It’s also a beautiful sunrise so if you can remember it then that’s even better.
• Expect to spend the rest of your life roaming around with spots of fluorescent paint on every item of clothing you have. Even if you didn’t take it travelling with you.

Following the Full Moon antics I managed to head butt a Tuk Tuk as we headed to Malaysia, where we will spend the next couple of weeks before heading to Singapore for the F1. Lyvette loves the F1, so she’s proper excited. Personally I have no idea what I’m watching but I’m pretty sure I’ll enjoy it. If not I’ll just resign to filling my body with spirits…