Jaipur
It was cold. Not England cold, but cold for us nowadays. Obviously I didn’t have any clothes and had managed to leave my one cardigan, long pants (and plug adapter) in Kochi. So there I was prancing around Jaipur in a bikini whilst everyone was building snowmen. Just kidding, it wasn’t that bad, or that cold. Luckily Dhruv, the hostel manager very kindly ‘gifted’ me with a hoodie, which I haven’t taken off since.

Saksham NGO
This was our 3^rd visit to Jaipur and yet again we visited our friend Nitin’s NGO school for the women and children in the slums. It really is amazing what he’s set up at Saksham with his own time and funds This was reiterated when we went to the maths lesson. And the seven year olds and the women who have only just learned to spell their own name asked us for help. And we didn’t know the answers. I mean seriously how on earth am I supposed to multiply 349.676 x 34.39 without a calculator?! Well apparently everyone in the class could. It was unreal. But it was ok, because Lyvette works in accounts and she just stared at the whiteboard trying to work out what multiply meant. In her defence multiplication is over rated. And don’t even get us started on fractions…

*Click here for the Sakham facebook page. If you’re ever in Jaipur and want to go to the school just contact Nitin. He also runs a great travel business if you want any help with tours/volunteering around India.

The Baba
And then, on New Years Eve we visited the Baba. Now I’m not being disrespectful but I’m not quite sure what a Baba is – apparently some sort of person that deserves great respect. And this baba could read your aura and give you information on your life, what we’d call a psychic I’m assuming? So it was one cold morning we flew around Jaipur (me wearing my new hoodie) in a tuk tuk to the Baba’s abode. He told Lyvette she had weak knees. And she needed to wear an oval around her neck. And then I entered.
Baba: “You need to stop smoking”
Me: “I don’t smoke”
Baba: “Well don’t start”
Cracking advice, thank you. You truly are a voice of wisdom.
Baba: “You have a blockage in your throat”
I start panicking. Shit I have a blockage. Is this because of my non-smoking? Do I have throat cancer?!India has polluted me to death!!!
Me: “What?! How do I get rid of it? Help me please!”
Baba: “Your chakra is blocked, you need to clear it”
OMG my chakra is blocked!!! My chakra is blocked!!!!….What’s a chakra?
Turns out a chakra is an energy point or node not a physical being, and imbalances (or in my case complete blockages) in these can cause dissatisfaction and effect a person’s being (according to the ever reliable source that is Wikipedia). This is a belief of certain religions including Hinduism. And mine can be unblocked by removing negative people from my life.
Never have I been so pleased to have a blocked chakra.
Baba (just as my heart rate slows): “Ah you also have a blockage in your heart”
SORRY.A.WHAT?!
I
HAVE
A
BLOCKAGE
IN
MY
HEART?!!!!
Could this morning get any worse? I truly am dying! My chakra is blocked and now I have a heart blockage! Will I die in India? If so I want to go eating a samosa whilst Punjabi dancing. Wearing my new hoodie. Actually I’ll die on a train please…I like the trains here. Is this a real life blockage or another chakra? And what happens if all of my chakras are blocked?
So there I was pondering my pending heart failure when the Baba spoke again.
Baba: “Yes. You have a heart like a chapati”

A chapati?

Is this normal?
Now, I’m partial to the odd chapati but I’m not sure how well this would function as an essential organ such as the heart. In fact biologically I’m not sure this is even humanly possible. OMG, I’m not human! I wonder if this a common disease in India? And why can’t my heart be a cheese naan (I love those)? Is this better or worse than a heart blockage? Trust me, you have soooo many questions when you are diagnosed with a chapati heart problem.

And then. And I kid you not. The Baba proceeded to draw a diagram of my chapati heart.

I wasn’t keen on the Baba. So we went for a brunch of samosa butties and chai. I’m not sure how healthy that was for my chapati heart but you only live once, and it was New Years Eve so I had a party to prepare for.

NYE
We had a party at the hostel, which was fun, and involved A LOT of Punjabi dancing. Now if you’ve ever seen an Indian party you’ll know what I mean. These guys just love to dance. Even my moves can’t compete. Any arm, leg, chapati heart that is available can and will be found busting some very energetic moves. And they’re machines, they just don’t stop. It’s amazing, and so much fun. And this is why I’m going to have an Indian wedding guys. We danced, consumed a few Kingfishers (beers) and went to bed.

Until the entire dorm was woken at 5am by the sound of what can only be described as either:

a)someone being slaughtered
b)someone possessed
c)someone giving birth
Or in the this case it could be:
d)Lyvette with a headache

As she sat up and wailed my chapati heart nearly stopped beating.
“AAAARRRRGGHHHHHHHHHH MY HEAD!!! MY HEAD!!! IT HURTS SO BAD AND NOBODY CARES, NOBODY CARES.” It was actually as though she’d been possessed, throwing herself around her bed like she was auditioning for a part in The Exorcist and then proceeding to shout a string of dramatic death words such as “KILL. HEAD. DEATH. AARGGGHHH. KILL.” The guy on the bunk above her had to hold on for dear life as she developed this super human strength and started shaking the bed frame in fury. I frantically rummaged around for painkillers which I didn’t have and gave her some water and eventually she went back to sleep. Leaving me and my poor chakras in shreds. And everyone else in the room too scared to move.

The next morning a random girl approached me;
“Did you hear that girl last night?! I thought she was possessed. I have never heard anything like it. And she was screaming death words.” Nah, just a very drunk Lyvette with a head ache, bringing in 2017 with a bang. Mancunians aren’t dramatic at all.

Quotes from Dhruv
Now this guy had some cracking one liners which I feel need a quick mention. How he runs (a very good) hostel I’ll never know.

Dhruv: “So where are you going next?”
Us: “Punjab”
Dhruv: “Oh Jaisalmer.” Note: this is in the complete opposite direction to Punjab and an entirely different state. Also, he’s Indian and knows this.
Us: “No. Punjab.”
Dhruv: “Oh, yeah, sorry. I need to wash my face.” How on earth does washing your face allow you to tell the difference between Punjab and Jaisalmer?! Not yet washing your face does not allow for such a stupid comment. Plus – we’ve just watched you wash your face!!!

Us: “Can you book us a taxi to the train station please?”
Dhruv: “Of course. What time is your train?”
Us: “8.10pm”
Dhruv: “No problem, I’ll book it for 10pm then.”
That’s not how it works Dhruv. Because then we wouldn’t catch our train would we…go and wash your face.

Presents from Home
And finally, after our longest stint in one place ever (bar Sydney) and a brief visit from our favourite northen Arab, Kirsty, we left armed with Christmas presents that my mum had sent. Everyone loves post, especially in this day and age where everything is electronic. There’s nothing better than getting a real life letter (that’s not a bill) and lo behold you receive an actual package. Now multiply this feeling by ten and you’ll understand how excited two travellers can get when they receive a box of goodies in India. I mean a box that includes warm pyjamas, bed socks and Galaxy chocolate is like heaven, especially when experiencing your first winter in 19 months. And every girl that travels India, with just a 10kg backpack, requires a mini Christmas tree to take with them. And 100 litres of fake snow. Not to mention some beautiful festive wine glass decorations and 210 (Yorkshire) teabags in a box the size of a small country.

It was very exciting times and off we went, all kitted out to the train station. Just as a side note to my mother who will no doubt be reading this blog – we bloody loved our parcel, it made our week. And just for refs we booked a taxi for 7.20pm, not 10pm as Dhruv suggested.

So here we are boarding an 18 hour train journey to Punjab where winter will wrap us up in its frosty arms, not that that matters when you have fresh out of the packet Monsters Inc pj’s and a gifted hoodie from Jaipur. I’m hoping my chapati heart can handle the journey there and my chakras will become less obstructed. I’m also hoping Lyvette behaves herself and I don’t have to share a bunk with The Exorcist…

*Please note: No offence is intended with my story about my encounter with the Baba. My descriptions of what a ‘Baba’ and ‘shakras’ are come straight from the internet and my interpretation, so they’re more than likely wrong.